Commentary: Positive parenting during social isolation

For better or worse, (and probably a combination of the two), we are spending more time with our kids these days. Kids soak up the mood of the adults that are around them. If parents are anxious and frightened, kids will pick up on that. If the predominant mood is positive and comforting, children will soak that up and reflect it in their own outlook.

As many of us are now being parents, teachers, cooks, recreation directors, (in addition to working at home), it is more important than ever to try to employ positive parenting techniques.

The World Health Organization has an excellent website on healthy parenting. It has six one-page tips that cover the following: one-on-one time, staying positive, creating a daily routine, avoiding bad behavior, managing stress and how to talk about COVID-19 to your children. These one-page tips come in 56 different languages, including Tagalog and Spanish. The link to the WHO Healthy Parenting website is:who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public/healthy-parenting.

During this time, your children are undergoing the same feelings of uncertainty and confusion that we have all felt over the past few weeks.

Here are some recommendations from the experts concerning your children.

  1. Talk about it: it is normal for kids to ask questions. It is important to listen and not act like their fears don’t matter. Emphasize a positive approach and help them think of what they can do to be safe and how to help others. Open a conversation by asking questions like, “What do you think is going on?” This gives you a better idea of how much they understand.
  2. Remind them of the things they can do to stay safe, like frequent hand washing, wearing a cloth mask in public places, or staying at home. Try to think of things they can do to help the community during this time.
  3. Build a routine at home and make that routine visible. Having a visual schedule creates a sense of normalcy and security.
  4. Make sure they get 30 minutes or more of exercise daily and spend some time each day outdoors.
  5. Use positive screen time but monitor screen time. Kids can use online learning and video chats as a great way to connect with friends, teachers and grandparents. However, hours of unmonitored screen time can lead to isolation and anxiety.

Many of the above recommendations above come from Dr. Marcia Slattery, Professor of Child/Adolescent Psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin. Check out her full blog at uwhealth.org/news/how-to-help-kids-cope-during-the-uncertainty-of-coronavirus/53271.

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As always, give yourself and your children lots of grace during this time where many of the things that keep us grounded have been uprooted. And remember, the things that really matter haven’t changed: the love found in faith, family and friends. These are the things that transcend “social isolation” and are still present even when we can’t see them.

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