Dir. Peter George. 83 minutes.
2/5
Eleanor (Gail Neely) is a smack-talking older woman sent unwillingly to a retirement home where she’s minded by smarmy, patronizing nurses. When her son Leroy falls victim to a fascist beach gang, Eleanor comes out of retirement to deliver blood-spattered retribution.
The worst thing that can be said of this film is that it doesn’t live up to its title. A film without convincing sets, a coherent script or real actors must run on pure audacity, and “Surf Nazis Must Die” is dull and meandering as often as it is delightfully tasteless.
Spiritually, “Surf Nazis” owes a lot to low-budget biker movies like “The Hellcats” and “The Sidehackers,” where the integrity of the film rests entirely on the actors’ scenery-chewing abilities. This film’s surf gang certainly looks the part — “beach führer” Adolf (Barry Brenner) gallivants around in an appropriately silly black cape — but his villainous speeches are delivered in a slurring monotone.
The only really great moment of “Surf Nazis” comes in the first 15 minutes, when we’re treated to the bizarre spectacle of a man delivering the fascist salute while riding a surfboard. It’s clear that most of the Surf Nazis were hired for their surfing, not their Nazi-ing, capabilities.
Other bright moments are delivered courtesy of Eleanor, the one-liner-spouting heroine, who cooks up apple pies and lobs grenades at fascists with equal alacrity. The film’s synth-driven score clearly borrows from Giorgio Moroder’s theme from “Scarface,” but that’s okay — it’s still catchy.
